i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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