i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
