it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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