I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
