I'm gonna have a badass scar
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
