is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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