I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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