I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
