I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
