sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
