Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
