An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
BRING THE BAGELS
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
