if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
