i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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