What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
