you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Four minutes until I can fart!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
