suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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