is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
