Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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