I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
