Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
