Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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