chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize