I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Randomize
