So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
