so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
