Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
