he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
