Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
