dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
