Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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