i think my tv is drunk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
