My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
