am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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