really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
