I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
