i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
