You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
