Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
