So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
