You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
