Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I AM VODKA MAN
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
