i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if only i could text you this smell
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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