If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
That reminds me...we need to get swords
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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