okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize