If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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