ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
