Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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