It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize