i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
