You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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