What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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