put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
