Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Jerry, you need to find god
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
