i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
