They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize