Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
