We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize