I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
