I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
