That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
