i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
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