Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
