I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Randomize
