Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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